THERE IS STILL TIME: EXPLORING THE DISCOVERANCE OF ONE’S SELF IN I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024)

written by staff media reviewer, Kei

I literally cannot tell you how visually stunning this film was. I was already intrigued within the first five minutes because of the allegorical trans colors in the parachute that young Owen goes under. It immediately put me in this emotional headspace of recognition before I even fully understood what this movie was intending to display. The acting was phenomenal across the board. A standout performance from me was Jack Haven’s monologue in the planetarium where they speak about how their character Maddy needed to “bury” her old self to be reborn as her authentic, monstrous, yet true self as she finds her heart and prepares to return inside the world of the fictional show “The Pink Opaque” in order to save her best friend Owen from his own suppressed identity.

Watching this movie, I couldn’t stop thinking about my own relationship with gender and how I saw myself in the world. I started experimenting with myself around the middle of my sophomore year – dressing more masculine, finding a way to test the waters without fully jumping in. It was a slow process, because I knew I didn’t have to find myself and who I was right away. The summer going into my junior year was when I finally started using different pronouns, which to me, was huge at the time. But honestly, what really solidified it was cutting my hair just a little shorter than usual during the first semester of my junior year. That was the moment where I actually saw myself, and I didn’t feel like I had to explain myself to anyone anymore.

That’s what this movie understands so painfully well: how identity isn’t just about becoming something new, but about letting yourself exist without restriction. I don’t feel the need to present one specific way all the time. I just want the freedom to look and feel how I want, when I want, without the constant voice of restriction weighing me down all the time. I Saw the TV Glow captures the horror of not giving yourself that freedom – of living behind a version of yourself that lives and functions well in society, but never feels truly real. It’s about knowing something fundamental about yourself and being too scared to fully step into it. It’s about that creeping feeling that your life is happening a little differently, like you’re watching it through a screen. The longer you ignore it, the louder it gets. The nostalgia, the obsession with art and media that felt like a lifeline growing up, the inability to explain why it mattered so much – all of that felt devastatingly accurate to see.

I Saw the TV Glow made me feel seen in a way that’s horrifying, tender, nostalgic, and deeply affirming all at once. There’s a reason why this is one of my top films at the moment. Jane Schoenbrun, you will always be famous.